So why blog?......revisited

It struck me some weeks ago that I was so determined to get back to reality two years ago, and subsequently determined to get back to work about 4 months after finishing chemo, that I have missed out on some of the opportunities which the experience has afforded me. By this I mean the realisation of how lucky I was (and am), how much I have in life and how I can use this to ensourage my sense of wonder and appreciation. I remember that nearly every time I was in the hospital for a week and came home, completely whacked from the chemo and the steroids, that I had a sense of wonder for days. I would literally look out the window and marvel at the green grass and flowers. Corny as that may seem now, I had been staring at grey walls in the hospital for over a week and to see something different was fantastic.  To see my children laughing (and fighting) illustrated the life around me as I had shared a ward with some of the sickest people imaginable. Getting back to reality has removed some of this. This is inevitable to some extent I believe as the strains and stresses of normal life return. I mentioned before that when I did alot of meditation earlier this year I felt this appreciation return so I intend to take this up again. But I want to have this sense of appreciation during the day also, to literally make me a better person for having gone through this experience. It was so all encompassing that I believe it can be the driving force for pushing me in new directions. Of this more shortly as I need to work out what these directions are....hence the blog. I think it will help me get my thoughts together on this.