Tomorrow I have my annual CT scan. It is two years since I was given the all clear. I think it is fantastic that I am privileged enough to be in a country with a health system where not only was I cured, but I can undertake these scans to provide assurance. There is a train of thought, even among some oncologists, that these regular scans are unnecessary and that they are clogging up the system. I appreciate that point of view but, as you'd expect in my position, I disagree with it.
Statistically, I am more likely to have a recurrence of cancer than other people who have never had it. This weighs on my mind. I was lucky in that I was given a statistical probability when I got sick that 80% of people had full recovery and it never came back. I thought they were good odds back then and gave me huge hope. I still think about this and take succour, particularly as I know the odds for other types of cancer are not nearly so good.
While I feel absolutely fine now, the fact that I was sick is always front of mind. My dedication to looking after my health now is at the very front. As a result, while it is a pain in the ass having to go to hospital, it really is a small price to pay for the reassurance. I am not nervous or anxious. I am way past that at this point, after the experience I have had. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I was anxious about anything. What will be will be. This brings to mind the phrase "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". This has been absolutely true in my case. I would not go as far as to say cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me (because, let's face it, that would be ridiculous) but it certainly has given me a more rounded perspective on life.
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