How did I end up in that situation?

Many people may think that asking that question is crazy after two years. Why did I get cancer? I was healthy and fit. I was only 38. I didn't smoke and I drank in moderation. I ate very healthily. All in all, I felt I had the 'balance' I mentioned in previous posts. Well, with hindsight I know that I had the farthest thing from balance. At the time I was sick I had a family, with 3 children under 9, a full time job which was quite demanding. I also had taken on two assistant lecturing positions at the open university, increasing from the single one I had six months earlier. Oh, and I was also finishing a Masters degree. So, what I now know is that I thought I could do everything. I'm smart (well, smart enough) and capable....."why couldn't I do all of this?" was my attitude. I actually remember thinking this.
So in summary I fully believe that I made myself sick. This may be a controversial view to some. My doctors called my non-hodgkins lymphoma a 'genetic blip', literally an accident of genetics. And that's fine. But I believe that this blip was triggered by my situation. I think this because of what I have learned since. I have read alot about eastern medicine and meditation and they indicated the strong links between mind and body.  I believe I pushed myself so far and so hard for so long that something had to give. And it did.
So this now explains my search for balance. Sometimes the old me rears its head.  I recently got it into my head that I wanted to do a doctorate and got all the information on what I needed and thought through the logistics over a period of weeks. Then one day I realised that this was the old me. I had this feeling that this idea did not feel right all along. I meditated on this last night and made a clear (and amazingly quick) decision that I will not persue this crazy idea at this point in my life. The clear lesson I have learned is "JUST BECAUSE I CAN DO SOMETHING DOES NOT MEAN THAT I SHOULD'.  For years I always felt capable and I fully believe that I can do anything I put my mind to, a feeling I have even stronger now I've been through cancer. However, wisdom is about knowing when not to do something and finding the balance in your life. This is a hugely positive step and decision for me and I will take this learning into other parts of my life.